Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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