I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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