I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
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