I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
When did angry sex become our thing?
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Randomize
