Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
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