How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
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