she looked like the bat from fern gully.
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
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