talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Randomize
