I think my vagina is haunted
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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