Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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