Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
