Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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