I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
Randomize
