i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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