"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
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