Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
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