Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
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