a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
