Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
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