She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
Randomize
