This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
