But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
Randomize
