Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
i need to put some appletini on your dick
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
I have aggressive nipples.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize
