Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Randomize
