My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
Randomize