any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
Randomize