i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
Randomize
