Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
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i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
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