He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
