so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
