Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
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