She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Randomize
