my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
