But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
i would punch a child for taco bell
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
Randomize
