the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
