god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
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