two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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