its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
