the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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