So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
Randomize
