Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
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