Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
wow bdsm is so cute
Randomize
