Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
Randomize
