I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
