you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Randomize