so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
