K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
literally had 100 drinks last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
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