Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
I'm so fucking centered right now
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
