Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Randomize
