I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
I am one with the molecules
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
Randomize
