Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
