i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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