Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
Randomize
