Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
