and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
Randomize