What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Randomize
