it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
