That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
Randomize
