Do you still have your period?
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
