I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
How naked do you want me to be?
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize
