my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
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