what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Randomize