I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Randomize
